[ 2 0 1 0 ]

esprit de corps

MEANING:

noun: A spirit of solidarity; a sense of pride, devotion, and honor among the members of a group.

ETYMOLOGY:

From French esprit (spirit), de (of), corps (body, group).

I love French words.
So, 1st post of the New Year!
You have been warned: it's quite long...

-I Am-

Listening To: Nothing at the moment
Reading: "Civil Disobedience" ~Henry David Thoreau
Craving: Oranges
Thinking About: It's NEW YEAR'S!!

-Quotes-

"When I was in the military, they gave me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one." ~Leonard Matlovich, a gay Vietnam Veteran

"Commandment Number One for any truly civilized society is this: Let people be different." ~David Grayson, journalist/author

Those are "A Thought For Today" quotes from my A.Word.A.Day subscriptions... I was always so preoccupied with the vocab words that I never saw the quotes! They're pretty inspirational...

-Today's Playlist-

"Simple And Clean" ~Utada
"Cross Your Fingers" ~Laura Marling [I love her!!]
"Hair" ~The Early November
"Sushi" ~Kyle Andrews
"Pumpkin Soup" ~Kate Nash
"Breathe Me" ~Sia
"That Green Gentleman (Things Have Changed)" ~Panic At The Disco
"I Belong To You (+Mon cœur s'ouvre à ta voix)" ~Muse
"Time & Confusion" ~Anberlin
"Konstatine" ~Something Corporate

-Current Obsessions-

Finishing my collage for HSD [High School Diplomats]
Mini-sets and surreal sets on Polyvore
PeterPan-Syndrome on DeviantArt
[Clicky!]
Old Seventeen magazines
Layering clothes
Winter break... it's almost over :(
Alice in Wonderland t-shirts
Muffins
My black sparkly Converses
New Year's! 2010!

-Thoughts-



I remember when I was so fascinated by how Matt traced veins on his arms...
Aha.

So yesterday we went to a New Year Eve's party, like every other year. I wish I could've gone to see fireworks, or something. I really want to be in Times Square to see the ball drop sometime in my life! At first I felt really awkward 'cause all the girls seemed to know each other and they were all much younger than me... but then I started talking to this girl who seemed like a bit of a loner and thus our adventures began. Like the other girls were talking about their boyfriends and crushes and school drama, and I thought they must be in middle school or something. BUT. It turns out they're only 5th and 6th graders!!! What?! :O Wow, I was kinda shocked there. I can't believe people have so much relationship drama stuff in 6th grade... I used to think 10 years old is really old though. I guess I still do. The girl I was talking to was 11, and she's a HUGE Panic At The Disco and Fall Out Boy fan. Everyone else was wearing Abercrombie and skinny jeans, and I might've spotted some makeup... On 6th grade girls. I don't really like girls wearing makeup that young, it's like... you don't need it! Goodness. And they all had high-tech phones, and everyone had an iTouch. Wow.... a few girls were just texting and going on Facebook the whole time. It's like, "You can do that at home... you're at a party, have fun?" Um... yeah. So the girl showed me some YouTube videos. Happy Tree Friends [thank goodness, no Salad Fingers... he's creeeeepy >.<], Fall Out Boy stuff, "Draw With Me" [sooo good.... it's an animation about this boy and girl who are separated by a glass wall -----> Clicky!] And then my mum walked in on us while she was showing me "Hollywood Whore" ~Papa Roach, there was blood everywhere in the video and it was embarrassing... aha.

So the girl whose house we were at turned 11! And her friends are soooo loud... just like screaming and making funny noises for no reason! So yeah, so me and the loner girl started walking around 'cause we didn't have anything better to do [everyone else went to the same school and were gossiping]. And we kept on bumping into this guy who was also walking around... turns out he's a freshman in high school. But he was playing table hockey with this really petite Korean girl and getting beat up by her, it was so funny x) She is vicious! And we were blasting music on people's iPods really loudly, except "Viva La Vida" kept on playing on repeat about 20 times... Eeeeeh. I got so tired of that song by the end of the night! So I put my iPod in and the guy wanted to listen to rap and rock stuff, so we were playing Green Day and stuff...

Then we watched the ball drop [it's only like 30 seconds of excitement...] and the adults started the longest poker game ever. I think there should be a Guiness World record for it or something. And everyone left except this small Chinese girl with pigtails and this really hyper, energetic Whasian girl. She's so funny. And people started drifting off to sleep but me and Claire [the Whasian girl] were determined not to [I can't anyway, I'm not sleeping over!]. So we started performing "Bohemian Rhapsody" like a drama, with all the funny voices and motions and stuff.... we were so loud that I don't think the other girls could sleep! Mission accomplished, aha. And then we started talking about her sisters who go to TJ [BOTH of them!] and philosophy, and how she writes poetry... She is so mature for a 10-year old... I never would have thought. So she was like, "I have a 3rd person voice, a fantasy voice, a poetry voice, and stuff..." So we actually had a pretty good conversation. Her older sister is so talented, by the way. Like wow... her voice, and she's so pretty! But yeah, and she was saying how guys at TJ try to outdo each other with asking girls to prom. She said her sister's boyfriend drove to TJ at midnight to put up a banner asking her to prom! Lol. Those kids :p And we started playing the Questions game, and talked about if we were guys, about how she thought roses were the perfect flower of love [she is SO metaphorical and was talking in poetry talk the whole time...] and we didn't fall asleep! It's so interesting to see different sides of people. Like before, she was SOOOO hyper [I really got scared] and she was mad 'cause she didn't save her top score on a game, and she started punching pillows and cursing and stuff. But then in that room, at like 3 in the morning, she was so thoughtful and philosophical... it's really a different, quiet side...

When my parents -finally- finished playing cards, it was 4:30 a.m.
I didn't sleep at all.
Happy 2010 everyone! :D

Make a wish! :D
[I actually stayed up until 11:11 p.m. to take this!]

We'll Meet Again

Copying the format of posts on http://www.mypointeofview.blogspot.com/
Her blog is so wonderful to read and she is such a lovely person. I'd love to meet Amy in real life... [we have the same name!]

-I Am-

Listening To: "Born For This" ~Paramore
Reading: The Life And Many Deaths Of Harry Houdini ~Ruth Brandon
Craving: Ice cream
Thinking About: How to spend the rest of winter break...

-Quotes-

"Whatever it is I am getting old and yet I have no particular regrets. Some time or another we all grow tired. I have been tired for a long time." ~Harry Houdini

"Time enjoyed wasting, was not wasted." ~John Lennon

-Today's Playlist-

"Hell" ~Tegan & Sara
"Adalia" ~Madina Lake
"Hear Me" ~Kelly Clarkson
"Bleeding Love" ~Mark & Alex [cover of Leona Lewis]
"Decipher Reflections From Reality" ~PlayRadioPlay!
"Accidntel Deth" ~Rilo Kiley
"Starlight" ~Muse
"Northshore" ~Tegan & Sara
"Nobody Knows Me At All" ~The Weepies
"Last Day Of Magic" ~The Kills

-Current Obsessions-

Free People clothing
Sweater dresses
Harry Houdini
Thoughtful quotes
Molly Ringwald
Vintage/retro fashion
Paramore
333bracket on DeviantArt
[her stuff is AMAZING! Clicky!]
Inspiring photography
Distressed/ripped jeans
Sleeping in
Cardigans
[I really really want to get one!]

-Thoughts-

Winter break is really flying by, although I've kind of settled into doing nothing productive and everything to waste it, it seems. I have the 1985 version of Alice in Wonderland next to me, as well as Marie Antoinette... I'm inclined to watch both of them now. I actually haven't had the time to finish the second half [yes, Alice Through The Looking Glass!] of the movie, so I really should... And I'm already dreaming of the beautiful Victorian costumes in Marie Antoinette. Speaking of which, the Miss Dior Chérie ad is probably one of the most beautiful ads ever made!!
[Clicky]



That embodies everything I'd want in a commericial!
Parisian, pretty colours, gorgeous scenery, balloons...

Anyways, good night for now!
Looking forward to more boredom tomorrow...
I think I'll bake some oatmeal-white-chocolate-chip-cranberry cookies.
:D

My misery is so addictive

"Don't bend
Don't blink
Don't beg
Don't scream
Don't whine
Don't fight
Don't tell me, don't tell me, don't tell me

Don't feel
Don't tear
Don't kiss
Don't care
Don't touch
Don't want me, don't want me, don't want me

Something's so sick about this
My misery is so addictive
I'm halfway there with your Northshore from the floor singing to you over my shoulder

Don't run
Don't hide
Don't hurt
Don't lie
Don't breathe
Don't try
Don't find me, don't find me, don't find me

Don't cringe
Don't clench
Don't look
Don't flinch
Don't know
Don't go
Don't leave me, don't leave me, don't leave me

Something's so sick about this
My misery is so addictive
I'm halfway there with your Northshore from the floor singing to you over my shoulder

Don't sing
Don't talk
Don't yell
Don't laugh
Don't think
Don't speak
Don't save me, don't save me, don't save me

Don't stay
Don't plan
Don't heal
Don't mend
Don't take
Don't send
Don't love me, don't love me, don't love me

Something's so sick about this
My misery is so addictive
I'm halfway there with your Northshore from the floor singing to you over my shoulder."

"Northshore" ~Tegan & Sara [they're twins!!]

I've been looking at amazing photographers on DeviantArt [haven't checked there for the loooongest time...] and really nice fashion blogs...

Talk to me... I don't want the time to waste away and find myself a week later, winter break gone by, with nothing accomplished...

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

December 25.
Today...
...is Christmas!!

We just finished opening presents, and I was really surprised by all the stuff.
I think this year is more like... alot of small gifts making up a big one?
Like last year and the year before I got really big gifts, like an iPod or something.

I wish everyone a happy Christmas!!! :)

Music binge!

Some of the stuff I listened to today:

-Shirobon!
-Unicorn Kid
-Bubblegum Octopus
-Amy Can Flyy
-That Boy That Girl ~Hadouken!
-Say Please ~Monsters of Folk
-Meet Me On The Equinox ~Death Cab For Cutie
-I Belong To You ~Muse [New Moon remix]
-1-800-Zombie
-Baby, Better Believe ~Breathe Electric
-Oceans ~Racing Kites
-Love Love, Kiss Kiss ~Alkaline Trio
-Neon Lights ~Hurry! Let's Go
-Uptown, Get Around ~Stereo Skyline
-Techicolour Eyes ~Backseat Goodbye
-What You Waiting For? ~Franz Ferdinand [Gwen Stefani cover]
-Love Game ~Lady Gaga & Marilyn Manson remix [lol, wow...]
-Sunset 1989 ~Swimming With Dolphins

Weird band names much?

Some of these are actually good, some are just... beep-beep-beep video-game Mario music! Aha. :D

The Japanese are awesome

OHMYGOSH.
The cutest bentos ever :D
Clicky!

HAPPY SEVENTEENTH!

Happy birthday dear!!!
It's the first day of winter but of course, it's also your birthday :D
So now we're on the same level of oldness now, sorta?
I don't think you actually -feel- 17 until like... a year later though.

I hope you're doing something fun and that there will miraculously be snow!
If you were here, I'd probably bake some cupcakes for the occasion... aha.
Maybe you could eat some ice cream, 'cause it's never too cold for ice cream, right?
Supposedly there's bacon-and-eggs flavoured ice cream..... -pukes-
You have to teach me how to make ice cream from scratch someday. It sounds magical!

So I guess you're not "sweet 16" anymore but you know that song from "Sound of Music?" The "Sixteen Going On Seventeen" one! "I am sixteen, going on seventeen/I know that I'm naive/Bachelor dandies/Drinkers of brandies/What do I know of those?"

I wish you could see your present now, because I -think- you might like it, but you'll have to wait until your dad gets back...
La di la....
So I hope you know that you're a really amazing person, and that you're brilliant in every way... [Art- check. Writing- check. SAT-smart- check.]
Don't ever think you're not because that isn't true at all!
"And tonight we can truly say... together we're invincible!"
I had a dream yesterday that I was in a chatroom with some people and Joy or something, and she was like, "It's 8/3! Do you know why it's a special day?" and I was like, "Uuuh, no...." And Joy says, "It's been a year since the Yeos left!" and yeah, so maybe time goes by faster than we think?

I'm really happy that we can still talk and stuff despite how we're halfway across the world from each other...
It's at times like these that make me wonder at the invention of the Internet and telephones.
You, me,
we can be invincible FOREVER!
Made for you: http://www.polyvore.com/happy_birthday/set?id=14462753

ily ♥

Sincerely,
just a ghost :)

But last night was wild!

^"Ulysses" ~Franz Ferdinand



Mr. Snowman that me and my friend built during the last snowfall...

Today was a lovely day filled with madness!!
First of all- NO SCHOOL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So winter break officially starts!!
Which is the way it should be!
And then we went Christmas shopping despite all the snow and ice...
There are miniature snow mountains everywhere, and the whiteness is so beautiful.
Except some of it turned to slush and some of the pureness is defiled by the dirt and is now an icky brown... bleh.
It kinda spoils the fun when you already know what all your Christmas gifts areee.... >.<

I think losing weight is such a funny concept.
Weight is defined as "the force that must be applied to an object in order to support it in a gravitational field." (Wikipedia)
So we're trying to lessen the hold of gravity on our bodies...? Aha x)
More like losing body mass...

Tomorrow is the first day of winter and also someone's birthday!! ;D

Ice Queen, c'est moi.

Every school day before winter break seems to never end...
I'm sick of tests and homework.
I just want to wear my tie-dye shirt and Muse necklace while freezing because I'm always always cold...
Who else wants to see "The Princess and the Frog"?
I'm anticipating a massive baking fest this weekend, 'cause the holidays are coming...
Winter is here.

"I'm tired of everyone I know,
of everyone I see
on the street
and on TV.

On the other side,
on the other side
nobody's waiting for me.
On the other side

I hate them all.
I hate them all.
I hate myself for hating them,
so I'll drink some more.
I love them all.
I'll drink even more.
I'll hate them even more
than I did before.

On the other side,
on the other side
nobody's waiting for me.
On the other side.

I remember when you came,
you taught me how to sing.
Now, it's seems so far away.
You taught me how to sing...

I'm tired of being so judgemental
of everyone
I will not go to sleep.
I will train my eyes to see
that my mind is as blind
as a branch on a tree.

On the other side,
on the other side.
I know what's waiting for me.
On the other side.
On the other side,
on the other side
I know you're waiting for me.
On the other side."

"On The Other Side" ~The Strokes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66FFScgTOcQ

"Now it's three in the morning and
You're eating alone

Oh the heart beats in its cage

All our friends they're laughing at us
All of those you loved, you mistrust
Help me, I'm just not quite myself
Look around there's no one else left
I went to the concert and I fought through the crowd
Guess I got too excited when I thought you were around..."

"Heart In A Cage" ~The Strokes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbRe5mxR0q0

Un, deux, trois, GO!

^TWIGGY!! :D I love her.

So.
I have started a new blog asides from A Cheshire Smile.

It's totally unknown and secret, unless you somehow find the link... :p
I feel like it's kind of an online journal [since I'm sometimes too lazy to write everything down in my paper journal], and it's mostly for venting and ranting about random and depressing stuff...
Please don't ask to see it, but the title is based on one of my post titles here...
...if anyone is that interested.

It's funny how something can exist on the Internet, open for everyone to see, yet it's totally obscure unless you find it?

I love that.
That's what StumbleUpon is for!

Top 10 List

Top 10!

{complete with pictures!}

1. "Wasted" performance



2. Supersize vs Superskinny [I found some episodes through Google video!!] :D



3. Red nail polish



4. Snow



5. Winter break!!



6. Afternoons on my crazy bus...



7. Harry Houdini



8. Eating disorder books



9. 'The Kite Runner" ~ Khaled Hosseini



10. Sour Patch Kids

Anarchy in the U.K.

Oh how I wish I lived in the UK!!!!
I've discovered such a cool show today called Supersize vs Superskinny, this British TV programme...
But you can only watch the episodes in the UK! :(
It looks like such a good show!!
And iTunes UK doesn't work either unless you're living there...
Let's all move to London, hmm?

SNOW!!!

It's finally snowing!!!!!!
Like, white flurries and drops of magicness! :D
Yes yes yes!
I hope it continues to snow tomorrow so we can get out of school!

And I have a grand plan to bake 110 cupcakes to make a periodic table of cupcakes.
I may need some help.

http://www.wired.com/geekdad/2009/12/the-periodic-table-in-cupcake-form/
Isn't that AWESOME?!
I think I'm doing mine based on the different groups [alkali metals, noble gas, alkali earth, etc.] so there's a greater variety of pretty colours!


Whoa, squares!

Hoping for snow?

AP chem today seemed to drag on and on and on, and the clock seemed to be frozen in time...

I feel like everything is so close, yet so distant and faraway from me...
Winter break, Christmas, friends, tests...

By the way, check out this guy (yes, GUY!)'s Polyvore.

http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/profile?id=959146

He's pretty cool!

It's supposed to snow this weekend!!!!!! Let's do the snow dance, flush ice cubes down the toilet, and wear our pajamas inside out! [well, I only do the pajamas thing]

"Tomorrow night: Snow in the evening will give way to partly cloudy conditions overnight. Low around 30F. Winds NW at 10 to 20 mph. Chance of snow 90%. 1 to 2 inches of snow expected." -the latest from Yahoo! weather

Rain & Radiohead

Today seems to drag on and on and all my classes seemed so long...............
But it was a good day, still.

In the afternoon, it started pouring and I stayed afterschool with no umbrella.
But after "dancing" in the rain for awhile, my friend lent me his.
And today's filled with nice things like that.
Like I let my friend borrow my MIKA cd {which is all broken and in terrible shape}, and he returned a brand new cd to me!!
I seriously thought he was a magician for a second 'cause the cd was so beautiful and not-broken!
But no, he went out and bought a NEW cd! Isn't that nice?
And also I got a Radiohead CD :D
Too bad I need to look up all the lyrics 'cause I have NO idea what Thom Yorke is singing...
It's funny 'cause AFTER you look up the lyrics, you're like, "Oh, that's so obvious, of course that's what he is singing!" Mental-set? Psychology terminology...
I really like the second song but I don't know what song it is 'cause there's no track listing!!!
I foresee a music binge......

Sunshine, 2:40 pm

^My rainbow stripey sockssss

Thanksgiving break is so short... we should adopt a school system where we had a week of break every other week.

So I had to read some Hawthorne stuff for English, one of the essays being "The Birthmark." It's about this beautiful woman named Georginia who is almost perfect... except she has a tiny hand-shaped birthmark on her face. While some people find it attractive, her husband Aylmer resents it. Aylmer is a scientist and wants to remove the birthmark, so he works in his laboratory for days to produce a potion for her. And at the end [of course it's gonna be depressing], Georginia drinks the potion and her birthmark fades! You'd think, "Yay, all's well that ends well", right? Aylmer is absolutely estatic because he'd finally achieved this feat [and the potion is also like the Elixir of Immorality], but then Georginia dies because the birthmark is like... connecting her spirit to her almost-perfect body? And she dies at the end.

Yesterday my friends came over and we played Monopoly for about 3 hours straight. Too bad my friend started monopolising everything [I FINALLY understand why it's called Monopoly; you're supposed to buy all the properties and have a monopoly on the utilies, railroads, etc!!!] and owned a whole side of the board, complete with little hotels. Making us all go bankrupt, basically! But then Amy and I [aha, the Amy side of the board] formed an alliance to own an entire side too! And now I can't stop calling "Boardwalk" Broadway, 'cause my friend kept saying that... now that space is covered with glitter and pizazz!

Fun, fun.
First time ever this Thanksgiving, we all woke up at 4:30 am to go Black Friday shopping.
It's ridiculous[ly fun!].
Like you're driving when everything's dark and then you're so hyper 'cause you barely slept but it's so exciting anyways!

I finally found a box of brand-new crayons that I think I'll use to make rainbow crayon cupcakes or something :D

I really want to write something, or make something amazing but I have no ideas...
High School Diplomats applications are due JANUARY 7, and I have no ideas on what to draw for my collage!!!!!!
I feel like I've lost all my drawing skills, I only make doodles and stuff now...
Or.
Maybe I can make an altered book, like the Alice in Wonderland one.
I wish I was in Art 3.

Disregard this.

-start rant-

Why must some people be skinnier than others?
Why must some people have really slim upper bodies but curvier lower bodies?
Or vice versa (is "vice versa" Latin, by the way...?)
It's just so disproportional!
And anorexia videos are so so sad, especially combined with really moving music.
It can really make you cry.
Have you ever felt like you could just eat and eat and eat and you're not even hungry?
Like a music binge or chat binge, but instead it's a food binge?
You're just bored, or rummaging around your kitchen for anything, something, but there's nothing good to eat anyway.
And after you eat something salty, you have to counter-balance it with something sweet, to neutralise it, so you just end up eating more and it's a cycle and you start to wonder, "Well, what if I just threw up?"
But then the thought of sticking your fingers down your throat and puking seems too gross and revolting to actually do, and that would probably mark you as a bulimic, so you don't.
And then you heat up that disgusting Campbell's Condensed Soup with Spongebob Squarepants noodles in it, but you add too much water and then dump it down the drain, but place the dirty bowl in the sink so it would look like you ate it, but you really didn't.
So this post basically has alot of run-on sentences and bad grammar and whatnot, but who cares?
It's hard being a grammar&spelling Nazi.
So you're walking home from school, really determined that you're just going to WORK when you get home. On homework.
And so you do, but then you're supposed to be working on debate speeches and researching topics.
Instead, you go on Polyvore and make a whole bunch of secret sets and favourite everybody's stuff and also chat with people.
But finally you focus and manage to write a few outlines. Whew.
So after dinner, you call your best friend and you can talk about anything, and you start talking about pregnancy, and teen pregnancy and you feel so bad for those teen mums with a kid...
Put them up for adoption, keep it, or... -gasp- Shall I say abortion?
Of course not the latter, but your friend thinks so.
And adoption instead of having kids in the future because she doesn't want to pass her skin disease to her kids... that's probably for the best.
Somehow the conversation moves to how there are mice in your friend's house and how she hate mice, she wants to kill them all viciously.
And creepy Edgar Allan Poe stories, disappearing lineages, and incest.
"Do you realise that if everyone just adopted kids, your lineage/family would disppear?"
What if you're dying to see what's it's like to be an anoretic, even though you know everything about the disease and that it's really self-destructing?
What if you feel like your brain's going to explode with all the things you have to do?
What if you hate looking at yourself because you look weird...?
What if you're nervous about finally going back into debate and giving speeches in front of 20-30 people again?
What if your friend's boyfriend just gave her a dozen roses, and he's usually a really pessimistic, cynical guy? It's just so nauseatingly cute and then you want to pretend it never happened 'cause you can't imagine someone like that doing something so romantic and... nice.
What if you're really hoping for a special visit?
What if you see people hugging and holding hands and wish they'd realise how lucky they are that they're together, right there? Not separated by miles and miles or oceans? :p
What if you feel like you're leading a double life occasionally, with being happy at school but then so messed-up and having dangerous thoughts when you're alone? "Thoughtcrime IS death."
What if you sneaked the phone out of the house to call someone, but then you realise that your dad might be starting a telephone conference so you can't use the phone?
What if...............................................?

-end rant-



I want her hair.

Animal Farm

...is so sad!

At first I thought it was really amusing how the animals talked, and the pigs are the most intelligent... And also it's so similar to the ideology of 1984 with "Comrade" and the whole erasing/altering of the past.

But it's so tragic!
The whole time I was just so anxious because I knew it was going to become worse, it can't be all happy-utopia-ish like it was in the beginning! :(

Then I found out it was criticising the Stalin era prior to WWII, and that makes alot of sense, I guess. At first there's two main leaders, (pigs) Snowball and Napoleon, but then Napoleon says Snowball is a traitor and they begin turning more and more into humans and changing all the commandments they had at the beginning.

Back to anorexia books.
"Wasted" is really good.

HEY.
Do you know any bands with 7 people, pop/rock genre, on tour right now? :D
If you have any guesses at all, please tell meeeee!!

I'm thinking about you, in my secret language.

"My British Tour Diary" ~Of Montreal

"On our trip to England I noticed something obscene
People still actually give a shit about the Queen
Though London girls aren't snobs at all
And Brighton's lovely in the fall
Left alone to drive ourselves on the opposite side
Man, it was a miracle that nobody died
Hanging out with Steven, Drew, Theo, Paul, and Sorrel, too
Eating at Welcome Breaks daily
We danced in Leeds with Brit Pop Haley

Performing with the Apples
And then crashing at the Wrights
Bitching because Steven booked us
On such early flights
Always in a foggy haze
Because we hadn't slept for days
Every single one of our London cabbies played
The most truly repellent techno music ever made
But they'll drop you without hesitation
If you try changing the station

Up to our necks in crisps and litter
In the van we dubbed the Gary Glitter ."

"Heimdalsgate Like a Promethean Curse" ~Of Montreal

This reminds me so much of psychology, and all the chemicals in your brain! :D Also, my AP psych teacher -would- probably play this since his favourite band is Of Montreal. The do do do do part makes me smile! And want to dance (although I really can't).

"I'm in a crisis
I need help
Come on mood shift, shift back to good again
Come on mood shift, shift back to good again
Come on, be a friend

Nina Twin is trying to help, and I
Really hope that she succeeds
Though I picked the thorny path myself
I'm afraid, afraid of where it leads

Chemicals, don't strangle my pen
Chemicals, don't make me sick again
I'm always so dubious of your intent
Like I can't afford to replace what you've spent

Nina Twin is trying to help, and I
Really hope she gets me straight
Because my own inner cosmology
Has become too dense to navigate

I'm in a crisis
I need help
Come on mood shift, shift back to good again
Come on mood shift, shift back to good again
Come on, be a friend

Chemicals, don't flatten my mind
Chemicals, don't mess me up this time
Know you bait me way more than you should
And it's just like you to hurt me when I'm feeling good

Come on chemicals."

Goodnight.
And on a completely random note, I FINALLY figured out how to pronounce "Nietzsche!"
:D

Sattelighte.
Catts and myce.



(An old picture taken at a photo shoot with my friend; I think we were trying to capture a shot with the spider web... hmm!)

"WAIT. They don't love you like I love you."

It's TWLOHA Day! (To Write Love On Her Arms Day)
Cat was the only one who did, I don't think alot of people remembered...
http://www.twloha.com/index.php
I want a t-shirt like that :3

Being immersed in a world of crazy talking animals (Animal Farm),
Panicking over how to be a good presiding officer for debate,
Figuring out how the heck to do the physics & AP chem webassign,
Listening to Noah and the Whale/The Yeah Yeah Yeahs,
Daydreaming about Thanksgiving break,
Hoping for a surprise visit [fingers crossed!],
Maybe I'm actually starting to like square brackets,
And looking forward to "secret phone calls."
Perhaps.
Maybe?

Yes; yes; definitely.
Today was pretty good for Friday the 13th.
But then again I'm not too superstitious x)

Let the wild rumpus start!!

I listened to the entire Origin of Symmetry album today. Straight-through. Gaaah my brain hurts... although it's Muse. It's too much, all at once!! I made it all the way through... I had to skip to the end of "Micro Cuts" though...

EDIT: After listening through about 4x and looking up the lyrics to several songs (I can't understand anything Matt is saying in Micro Cuts), I think it's quite a nice album now... Even "Micro Cuts." It's much better when you find out the lyrical content and what the song's actually about! :p It's alot darker and aLOT of distortion and stuff...I like "Citizen Erased"... :)

"For one moment
I wish you'd hold your stage
With no feelings at all
Open minded
I'm sure I used to be so free."

"Screenager" ~Muse

"Who's so phony and always surrounded
Stop your screaming, no one can hear
All the scars on your skin, post no bills

Who you were
Was so beautiful
Remember who... who you were

Hide from the mirror, the cracks and the memories
Hide from your family, they won't know you now
For all the holes in our souls host no thrills

Who you were
Was so beautiful
Memories who... who you were."

The intro is really creepy. Joy showed me this song awhile back. It's quite sad and beautiful...

On a different note, I LOVE the Where The Wild Things Are soundtrack!! So so good. I must see the movie.

"1, 2 ready, go!!
Grow some big feet, holes in history

Is where you'll find me, is where you'll find
All is Love, is love, is love, is love

L.O.V.E, it's a mystery
Where you’ll find me, where you’ll find
All is love, is love, is love, is love."

Dying to be thin

WARNING: There's one "disturbing" photo at the end... you've been warned!


(

^I want to see the documentary soooo badly...!!!)



(One of my favourites!!)

Main Entry: an·orex·ia
Pronunciation: \ˌa-nə-ˈrek-sē-ə, -ˈrek-shə\

Function: noun

Etymology: New Latin, from Greek, from a- + orexis appetite, from oregein

Date: 1598

1 : loss of appetite especially when prolonged
2 : anorexia nervosa

Back into a binge of anorexia and eating disorder books.
It's addictive, really.
Once you start, it's like down the rabbit hole, and you can't stop.
By the way, Alice is popping up everywhere! I love it.
I watched Phoebe in Wonderland recently, and right from the beginning I knew I was going to LOVE it. It can only be compared to Marie Antoinette in terms of prettyness :D
So in "Wasted" (this biography of an anorexic), the author clips in quotes from Alice in Wonderland. It's quite good so far, and I think it's supposed to be the quintessential anorexia biography book? Ish?

Music playing in my world...

["Your Song" ~Moulin Rouge soundtrack
"All Is Love" ~Where The Wild Things Are soundtrack
"Courage" and "Beauty From Pain" ~Superchick
"First Days Of Spring" ~Noah and the Whale
"Fix You" ~Coldplay (I've been listening to alot of their old stuff... it's quite good.]

I don't know why, but the more I find out about eating disorders, the more I want to try it (my friend says that sounds like trying drugs...). Kind of kidding, of course. But do you ever feel so... self-conscious while reading eating disorder books? I love them anyway... I certainly know eating disorders are very harmful and dangerous, and seriously kills people... Very seriouse mental disorder, anyways. I feel like I'm been researching them since forever (I started in middle school) and know alot about them, but there's always more to read/discover. But... well, I have two anorexics-in-training (jk! they're just naturally skinny!). It annoys me when people call me anorexic though, because I'm obviously NOT. It's easy to neglect eating sometimes, yeaaah...?

Do you ever feel fat?



^From a video campaign against eating disorders... it's quite sad. I have it under my YouTube favourites, I think...

Never shout never!

^That's a good band name :)

-Secret No. 166 on Polyvore!
-Skype is pretty exciting... my dad and I were talking while sitting right next to each other x)
-Finally got an AIM (after much persuasion by Cat...)
-I want to sit on rooftops.
-Movies I want to see: Spirited Away, Where The Wild Things Are, Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs... perhaps over the weekend?
-Getting introduced to epik high :p

So I was talking to my friend, and she was like, "Wow, I didn't know you were going out with _____. It's not official until it's on Facebook!" I was like... "Really? Really?" I mean.... I don't know. If it's on Facebook, it should be a mutual thing... That would be publicising alot, but... I guess it doesn't really matter? Except maybe Church people will think it's odd, but maybe some "secrets" are meant to be told :p

...so!

I can't wait for the 4-day weekend! But... I'm sick. Uuugh :( Well... like, my nose isn't really runny, but my throat hurts. -sad face-
-waffle breakfast day during pre-calc (and rainbow cupcakes!) My teacher used to be a chef...!! -jealous-
-"La Belle et La Bête" in French, and regional French foods... mmm. Apple tarts!
-corn maze
-Family Fun Night
-playing LittleBigPlanet: Alice in Wonderland levels
-movie marathon... hopefully
+alot of AP chem lab stuff x)



Please reply if you have an opinion...? :)

Just meet me up in paradise

^An amazing photo of my friend - the rainbowness is actually a reflection of a CD! :D

"So let me show you
Some-thing super beautiful
Let's rock the boat
The magic is unstoppable!"

-Playlist-

1. "Tell Yourself" ~Clazziquoi
2. "Cheated Hearts" ~ Yeah Yeah Yeahs
3. "On The Bus Mall" ~The Decemberists
4. "Beautiful Day" ~U2
5. "Boston" ~Augustana
6. "Don't Stop Believin'" ~Glee cast version (they make everything sound so good!!)
7. "Les Bonbons" ~Jacques Brel
8. "Don't Upset The Rhythm (Go Baby Go)" ~Noisettes
9. "Wonderwall" ~Oasis
10. "Keep Holding On" ~Glee cast version

Such a cool video ----> Clicky!

-Quote-

Growing up...

Our best friend becomes your enemy. Lollipops turn into cigarettes. The innocent ones turn into sluts. Homework goes in the trash. Mobile phones are being used in class. Detention becomes suspension. Soda becomes vodka. Undies turn into g-strings. Kisses turn into sex. Remember when high meant swinging on the playground? when protection meant wearing a helmet? when the worst thing you could get from boys was cooties? Dad's shoulders were the highest place on earth and Mom was your hero? Your worst enemies were your siblings. Race issues were about who ran the fastest. War was only a card game. The only drug you knew was cough medicine. Wearing a skirt didn't make you a slut. The only things that hurt you were skinned knees. And goodbyes only meant until tomorrow, and we couldn't wait to grow up?

Taken from a Polyvore set -----> Clicky!



Rainbow cake-in-a-jar I made awhile back! It was really difficult and quite violent to get out... Lol. But ever since I made them once for school, this guy at my bus stop has been begging me to make them... I'm like, "It's just food colouring!" x)

-Random thoughts-

Blogging is kind of boring... But I don't have any new secrets on Polyvore at the moment. I need to start getting better grades in school 'cause they are quite atrocious... I have to write a paper about nerds for AP Lang, which sounds fun :D

The weather is ridiculously cold, and I need to buy new clothes... school is stressful and it's the almost last week of 1st quarter!!!! Already!!

I'm going to die.
It may be the first time I have a whole spectrum of A's to D's on my report card.
And I REFUSE to let that happen!!!!!
Whyyy is AP US so hard?! I absolutely love the class and I'm NOT dropping out no matter what! But still!
At least a 13/15 on an essay is better than 3/10.

Thank you everyone! - Hyper Overdose by LittleMissSecret on Polyvore.com

-Obsessions-

Of course, the top 10 list.

1. Purple!
2. Acid-washed jeans
3. Cardigans
4. Anything warm
5. Someone... :)
6. Beautiful colour-changing autumn trees
7. Debate/speech
8. Glee!!
9. Playing piano versions of songs ----> Clicky!
10. Friendship bracelets

No. 132 by LittleMissSecret on Polyvore.com

I think that is the cutest picture ever!! :)

Glee and secret messages

Do You Know? by

^If you know what this means it was probably meant for you :D

I finally went back to MissWonderlander on Polyvore and made some real-life sets! That was pretty fun. I'd like to have another photoshoot sometime.... It's like an annual thing (during spring break...aha). I usually go on my other account for secrets. I really love making those, and I'm so happy people actually... send me their secrets. It's a pretty liberating feeling to post them to the world... I think we're on secret No. 112 now.

I finally understand why all my friends have been urging me to watch "Glee" and why they think it's the best show ever.

Because IT IS.

I never watch stuff on TV 'cause I feel like I'll get addicted... It's true! But Glee is so good! And like... all the amazing singing!

But... see this is what I mean!! I've been watching all the episodes and NONE of my homework is done. Oh dear... This is exactly like my life during summer :D

The 3-day weekend is upon us!

Together Forever by MissWonderlander featuring Miss Sixty

A really old Polyvore collage I found as I was looking through my sets...

It's kinda nice :)

Too bad I have too much homework to enjoy the Columbus Day weekend too much x____x But I'm looking forward to going to the spa!

A reply's reply

I DON'T THINK you know just how amazing you are!
And how much I think about you.
You can't help who you fall in love afterall, but I know Two Years Time won't be that long if we're always together... in spirit? Aha.
It's okay if you don't like someone as much as they like you, or vice versa... it's like a see-saw (bad analogy..... aha)?
It doesn't matter if you feel like you can't like somebody forever, but when you start to miss people, can I be the first?

"Together we're invincible!!" - cue little people riding atop dinosaurs-
And miniscule is a pretty cool word. It must feel awesome to be at the top of the Eiffel Tower and
look down on the whole world from up there!
Of course the world is ten feet in diametre ;)
I wish we could hang out, or just do anything together. Someday we must get together and make tie-dye shirts, along with cookies!! Good practise for bakeries :D
Have you noticed that there has been less interference and odd-conspiracy-stuff through the telephone lines? I haven't even heard phantom voices! No more hazy, weird noises... hopefully!
Maybe they're truly for us now, something they should've realised a looong time ago!
You and me = forever!!

Love!! by LittleMissSecret on Polyvore.com

Post "Life is beautiful" if you read this all ;D